"Traffic this morning along the Beltway's Outer Loop has slowed due to the presence of a large embroidered pillow blocking the roadway. Expect delays to last the remainder of the day and possibly into the evening unless Mommy swoops in early to clean everything up. Smaller cars may avoid tie-ups by exiting the sofa to accompany me on my afternoon park run. Larger vehicles, including lawn mowers, are just plain stuck."
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