High Five!

Wow, Greta, you not only ate your entire order of chicken sataay, but mine as well! That deserves a high five! I like a woman who can keep up with me at the dinner table, and very few can! You're an adventurous eater too. The last time we split an order of chana masala at that Indian place, remember? You kindly let me eat most of the naan bread that night, so honey, I'm lettin' you have my extra Thai food now. Let's high five again and again just because it's fun!

My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Begins

"Traffic this morning along the Beltway's Outer Loop has slowed due to the presence of a large embroidered pillow blocking the roadway. Expect delays to last the remainder of the day and possibly into the evening unless Mommy swoops in early to clean everything up. Smaller cars may avoid tie-ups by exiting the sofa to accompany me on my afternoon park run. Larger vehicles, including lawn mowers, are just plain stuck."

Noggin Safety

We don't have alot of space at our house, so every toy needs to do double-duty whenever possible. This is my ball bucket/helmet. See how versatile it is? If I take one of the balls out of it and throw it up in the air, it can't hurt me if it lands on my head! Clever, huh? I can also run into furniture and walls with this thing on with no consequences!

Elvis Lips

I thought Mommy said we were going to "Blue's Clues!" There is no cartoon doggy here, or funny little man who counts really slow and makes weird expressions! I have been tricked. This is blues music. Yucky! My life is fabulous, so why should I waste my time listening to these losers pine about how no one loves them and how they lost all their money? Go ahead, people, wallow in your pain! Since the Blue's Clues guy isn't here to make funny faces, I will: Here's my impersonation of Elvis (before he got too fat to sneer meaningfully at anybody). Take that back to Memphis with you, little band!

Giddy Up, Little Doggy!

Ooooh, I'm only inches away from a promising bareback ride on Grits! He has no idea I am here! This is going to be great! Everyone else at the park is riding a stroller or scooter. I'll be the only one riding on my dog! I can't believe no one else has thought of this yet.