Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know this is technially an "egg roll," but I DON'T WANT TO roll it! I waited two hours and slogged through 30,000 people to get here, so just try to stop me from carrying my egg across the finish line! And where is that Obama guy, anyway? I haven't seen him yet, and every time I try to go into his house, big guys with sunglasses stop me. And I've yet to see any cake. What kind of party is this?
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