Give us candy!

Happy Halloween, everyone! Now cough up the goods! This is the social contract: We look adorable, you give us candy. And not that no-sugar stuff you try to pass off the rest of the year, either. We know the difference.

"Jackass" Audition

I hope someone in Hollywood is watching this stunt! Everyone else at my buddy Augie's Fall Fest Party is sliding the regular way, but I've made it more fun and dangerous by riding a hay bale down it! So far so good.

Cougar Attack

And now for something really scary! Janika attacked me in the pumpkin patch during our school field trip! I know I fancy myself something of a ladies man, but she is twice my age and much more experienced. I really wasn't expecting to get frenched today while waiting in line for the hayride. I guess the charm of blonds is that they do things that are thrilling and unexpected...

You're Supposed to be Scared of Me!

Hey, Anderson, what's up with the crow? Aren't they afraid of scarecrows? What kind of preschool fundraiser is this anyway? Don't they teach you about the purpose of scarecrows here? And I hate to tell you, man, but witches are GIRLS!